Tooxclusive | Download Nigerian Songs & Videos

Pucker Your Lips And Get To Kissing

Posted by 00-Babs on March 8, 2011 in AUDIO, Feature, Social Views · 16 Comments


Oreka of the Beatfm tweeted this a few days ago “Forget your actual skills, that resume’s useless here. On this land, rules are: Kill for it, Kiss ass, Kpox for it or get ready to go home”. I saw this and was amazed by how accurately it describes the warzone that is the Entertainment industry. In pidgin parlance “man know man”. A lot of us have become arm chair critics, hurling missiles at the so called “ass kissers”. Dear reader from here on, I shall refer to this as “brown nosing”. It is easier on the eyes.

In a perfect world all you need is your box of talent or bag, how you travel is your sole prerogative. Look around you, pick up a handful of sand, yes now taste it. Does it taste like chicken? If it does, now pinch yourself really hard. Obviously you’re dreaming. Last time I checked Ghaddafi is still dancing to reggae tunes. That in itself is proof that the world we live in is far from perfect. Brown nosing is not exclusive or restricted to the Nigerian entertainment industry. It is a global phenomenon and is found in all spheres of life.

Have you ever wondered why “brown nosing” continually thrives? Do people really like the taste or smell of behinds? Surely there were radicals like you, who disdained the culture that is “brown nosing”. I am certain they also threw mountains at those who practiced it. Yet here we are, in 2011 learning new ways to kiss ass (sorry brown nose). You’re probably saying to yourself “God forbid the devil I shall never brown nose”.

I totally admire your conviction. You are the kind of people we need to kick this evil monster to the curb. Voltron! We the mere mortals hail you. A wise man once said “pick your battles carefully”. I for instance will not be challenging Dame Patience Jonathan to a bad grammar contest. We all know I can never win that fight. Does “brown nosing” make the world we live in, a better place? The answer is an emphatic NO.

The very practice of it only helps to feed the already bloated Egos of those at the top. Nowadays almost everyone has a “god complex”. Why? It is because someone out there has thoroughly imprinted their behinds with a million kisses. A lot of you say things like, brown nosers are dummies and should bury their heads in the sand. You lie! A brown noser is the clever one. You are a better musician/actor/model/dancer, yet he/she has the record deal/ job.

Do not get me wrong, people make it in the “Industry” without ditching their pride. Fact is they are few and far in between. In the defense of this “not so noble act”, some might argue, an upstart has no business holding onto self pride. I disagree self pride is a necessary commodity.  At what point do you need to put your pride on the back burner? If all it will take for you to land that paying gig is a little flattery and caressing of egos, why are you wallowing in “suffer head?”

I pray every day that the world judges me solely on my Talent and not on the sweetness of my tongue. Once in a while that happens, but 70% of the time I accompany it with a little “brown nosing”. No one is asking you to compromise your values in a bid to impress. Sexual gratification is not “brown nosing” it is prostitution. Do not be deceived people know when you’re trying to score brownie points. If you play your cards right, 90% of them will oblige you.

You can sit here all day and night telling me why we should do away with it. It will not change the price of fish in the market. For as long as we are humans and we make decisions based on our emotions, brown nosing is going nowhere. People will practice and welcome this culture. Lest you judge me all I ask is, before you do; search deep within you. If you have never in your entire life, kissed ass then go on and take aim.

As with all things in life, too much of everything is bad. Which is why; 10% of the people you attempt to brown nose will have none of it. It is up to you, to use your God given common sense in determining when and to what extent you should brown nose. However if you successfully wade through life without any form of “brown nosing”, please write a book showing us earthlings “How to”. I look forward to reading it and doing away with my sweet tongue. Thank you for reading.

Please leave a comment Thanks

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

A graduate of Mech Engr from UNILORIN. Works and lives in Lagos.
Submit your comment

Please enter your name

Please enter a valid email address

Please enter your message

16 total comments on this postSubmit yours
  1. Nice

  2. yhur too much

  3. Nice …..

    Nice …..


  4. I have neva brown nosed in my life, and I neva will, but if the end product is worth it,I don’t know, maybe. For me it’s a difficult question dat I hope I neva have to answer.

  5. Big ups

  6. Another good work of genuine creativity from a fabulous writer like you,*thumbs up*my dear.

  7. nice article I must say am an up n coming artiste so i do brown nos e sometyms to oda artiste to geh recognition dey seem to lyk it n i lyk it wen my small fans does it to me too so its nt all dat bad i fink sometyms u brown nose to encourage dem

  8. Wow! 9ce 1, brown nosing…count me out

  9. “I pray every day that the world judges me solely on my Talent……”


  10. In one word –>>> DEEP!! Good write-up Isioma. 1 point tho’,the ass kissin’ thing is much more obvious with black peeps especially Nigerians. Where pple get assessed based on WHO they knw and not competence,so as much as we would like to sleep at night feelin’ better with ourselves that it’s a general human thing,we shd bear it in mind that Nigerians take the lead.. And if you’ve made a profession out of ass kissin’…. STOP IT!! It can only take you as far as your “superior”,nothin’ further!!!

    Thanx Isioma.. Thumbs up

  11. I for one is sure that ‘brown nosing’ is everywhere. Everyone does it, institutions,job seeking, religious establishment.
    We ll just have to play along before you get left behind.
    Well done once again Isioma.

  12. Erm who are these people commenting about not ever 'brown nosing' (nice lingo by the way)? We have one time or the other stooped low to either gain something or move ahead from a pending issue.

    However, we should realize that kissing behinds will never get you anywhere in the longrun. It's always best to establish one's character and let others follow. It's hard but no impossible. I see on twitter everyday how artistes and popular people have to deal with 'Hi, you are the best', 'Pls FF me back, I love your songs'…etc.

    My advice build up your person from the inside and let the rest follow.

  13. @Osagz nice one…alota ish on twitter buh what I don’t get is, if sm1 is doing great and u send a S/O to the that brown nosing?? Especially if u really make impact in my life…when it comes to entertainment, alota people just brown nose on twitter anyhow as @Osaz just mentioned, We all know when a music is whack or good! @Osagz just said everything. Imma lash you if u record whack song 4me to buy in the store. I don’t kiss ASS, I kick ASS. #dealwithit.. Nice post dear

  14. Great piece Isi. As usual, compelling stuff.
    On d matter of brown nosing, i wudnt say i hvnt brown nosed b4. But saying i rarely brown nose is an understatement. Personally i dont mind peeps WITH talent whu brown nose. Hey! d industry z a cutthroat biz. Do wot u gotta do. What i dont like is d fact dat some peeps get chosen in place of d mur talented/qualified peeps cos they’ve ‘PhDs’ in brown-nosing. But alas, dats life 4 you. It aint always fair.
    One thing tho, as @braggingrightz aptly put it, brown nosing can only tk u as far as ur superoir. Nothing futher.

    Real good stuff, as i’ve come to always xpect from you Isi. #ThumbsUP

  15. Wow!
    U've given me food for thought for d rest of d week..
    Absolutely lovely writeup babes!!!

  16. Found this on Nairaland,
    Had to come over and drop a comment. You wrote splendid!

tooXclusive © 2017 All Rights Reserved