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Are you ready? Have you bought your tents? Did you pack your blankets? Pure water, soap, toothpaste or chewing stick, personally I suggest the latter. We will need to conserve water. Knowing the kind of leaders we have I reckon we may need to camp out for at least 3months. Don’t worry about food; we have paid for 5 trailer loads of gala. Unfortunately we can’t afford the fancy TFC, KFC or NANDO’s type meals. It is a struggle not a retreat, we have to manage.

If you own a portable generator, please bring it with you. I cannot guarantee electricity. You and I know the kind of country we live in. it is important our phones and laptops stay charged. We will be updating our facebook and twitter pages daily. Public sympathy is vital to our cause. The world must be kept informed of our every move. Do forgive me; I tend to jump the gun a lot. A lot of us have no idea where we’re headed.

Eagle’s square, Abuja is our destination. We shall camp out indefinitely until our leaders accede to our demands. What are our demands you ask? Well everything; constant electricity for starters, good roads, healthcare, education, security, the list is endless. We’ve tried the passive methods; newspaper publications, appeals to their conscience, prayers, fasting and yet here we are. Growing biceps like Hulk Hogan all in the name of pulling the rope that turns on our generators. Here we are buying flea infested dogs hoping to stop Mr. Armed robber.

Here we are burying our dead, because the government owned hospitals are under staffed and ill-equipped. I watched Egypt’s 18day marathon movie, I know you caught snippets of it too. The minute Mubarak resigned I celebrated. Afterwards I wept for Nigeria. How many of you didn’t laugh while you read the first two paragraphs. If you didn’t, did you for a minute take me seriously? No you did not, even I giggled as I wrote our camping list.

Let’s be painfully honest for a bit, if the Labour union announced a march to Abuja tomorrow, would you go? If they said we will not be returning until our demands are met would you come along? Are you satisfied with the way your country is being run? Are you content living paycheck to paycheck, because your expenses outweigh your income? Are you content with being lied to? A lot of Political commentators ask if what happened in Egypt can happen in Nigeria. The answer is a resounding NO!

How can they expect us to leave our generator powered homes, dog guarded compounds and tear rubber cars that lack shock absorbers no thanks to Nigerian roads? Ridiculous, who is the fool? Definitely not you or I, why in heavens name would we want to go sit in the sun for days, just because our leaders have failed us. Why would we want to inhale tear gas simply because they have not kept their promises? Never, why should we say anything when we can happily suffer in silence?

We have better things to do, we have award shows to attend, concerts to go to and green carpets to grace whilst decked out in our designer dresses. Who cares about Nigeria? Not you and definitely not me. We have more pressing matters, our leaders can continue to loot our resources and do absolutely nothing to better our nation. It’s not as if the populace is going to rise up and say enough is enough. Where do we start from? We cannot even pull off a 3day labour strike. Talk less of 18 days of nonstop protests. We do not care. We are fine just the way we are. And even if we aren’t why should we bother?

Millions of Nigerians did not even attempt the voters registration exercise, are they the ones that will protest? Never, we cannot pull an Egypt, we are not interested. Dear Leaders do not panic. Don’t even bat an eyelid, Nigerians are not the type. However we do need to save face for the international community, so we do not look like a nation of cowards, we shall hide under the cloak of being a “Peace loving people”. The fact is you and I know will always know the truth, we just don’t care.

Written by *Jazz* Follow on Twitter @MsJazzyfied.



A graduate of Mech Engr from UNILORIN. Works and lives in Lagos.

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