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They called me a HATER.

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I am not a chicken person; in fact I actually prefer turkey. In reality the size of my wallet often means I’m forced to eat a lot of beef. I have come to love the succulent, tantalizing and downright throatgasm I get from eating well cooked beef.  Fear not this is not a cooking class; you may now take off your aprons. Without much ado I introduce today’s subject matter; HATERS. Suddenly your heart is racing. You’re thinking she’s definitely talking to me. So you’re one of them. I am so proud. Welcome cousin you’re with family.

A lot of people get very upset when that word is thrown in their direction. Why are you vexed? Are not a hater? How dare you say Mr. Famous Musician’s latest single sucks? Why would you say that Actor was terrible in her newest movie? Let us not beat around the bush, this is not a farm. You are a HATER. I really should learn to curb my tongue. Now I’ve hurt your feelings. My dear reader you know I love you, but the truth is a very bitter pill to swallow. Or is it?

Did you know there’s actually an award show in the United States that honors actors for their woeful performances in movies? At this point if you’re in doubt I’d like to introduce you to Google. Get to know him, he has all the answers. I am patiently waiting for the day such an event will hold in Nigeria. Imagine the curses our Celebs will rain on the organizers. If words could kill I am certain that event day will witness massive deaths in the homes of the Organizers. Yes I know I’m in for a long wait. Let me dream jor. Do not be a Hater.

Enough with all the pleasantries’ it’s time to throw the uppercuts and left hooks. I might even add a few jabs, so brace up Spartans, this is where we die.  I couldn’t resist. I really do think I have a future in comedy. You don’t think so? Well who cares, you my friends are just Haters. I grew up hearing whatever doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger. Criticism is an inevitable part of life. If u cannot handle a critique you really should exit stage left. That means you might like to take your life. No wait! Stop it now. I really didn’t expect you to try it. I was just kidding.

That was very scary; I would have had your death on my hands. You need to stop taking everything I say so seriously. I am a Hater and that means I do not have your best interest at heart. Or do i? I do not like Coke, I’d rather have a bottle of Fanta or Sprite. Did the world end? Did the price of Coke change? No my dear reader it did not. The beautiful thing about life is we always have a choice. You are not obliged to like or love everything simply because you can. Guess what, it is perfectly normal to dislike something. That is of course if you do not reside in Nigeria.

Why is it as soon as you express an opinion that is not to the liking of Mr. and Mrs. Famous Person, they instantly term you a hater? I do not know how many people reside in your body; as for mine there is only one tenant resident here. I state firmly, it is not humanly possible for me to like every single singer, dancer, actor, presenter or rapper out there. As a matter of fact if I try it, I will die a very painful death. I am a very particular person and even if I wasn’t I am not a robot.

Read carefully it is very important you do not quote me out of context. If you do so I will simply term you a HATER. I am not saying it is permissible for you to take shots at people just because you can. It is downright wicked, better yet it is Evil for you to Diss someone for no just cause. I do not expect you to fly off to Twitter and randomly attack that Celebrity on your TL. If you do, they will use you to catch trips and when they are done they will block you. Did you just say you don’t care? Well then it’s on you. Isioma did not ask you to.

I am a regular famzer (a person who is skilled in butt kissing). I even have a PHD in it. Ask my followers, they will tell. But my dear, sometimes even the Celebs I famz with perform under par. They release singles, videos and even books that I find terribly poor. Am I free to tell them this? Hell no! I risk being called a HATER if I dare utter anything asides from what they want to hear.  It is a culture that has to change and change fast if Nigeria is to improve.

Sadly this is not restricted to the Entertainment industry alone. Politics, Finance, Industry and every sphere of this great country is awash with this mindset, if I criticize then I am a HATER. Heaven forbid I might be speaking the truth. They will simply say she is just Jealous. I know a lot of us take criticizing to the next level. I have read reviews that I felt were in accurate. Maybe this is why a lot of them are not open to opposing opinions. Our elders say there is no smoke without fire. If someone tells you what you have done isn’t as good as you assumed it was, do not lose your temper.

Go back to the drawing board analyze your work objectively. If you still cannot find any fault with it, give yourself a pat on the back. They are probably just jealous. Yes there are people who were born to hate just because they can. That said, not everyone is a Hater.  Once In a while you will meet honest individuals who really do have your best interest at heart and it is their opinion you should take to heart. The real dilemma is how do you fish out the real HATERS. It is very tricky, but always have this at the back of your mind; a non Hater will give you salient reasons why they think you have underperformed.

A standard HATER is not that intelligent. They Hate and can never say exactly why. It is a free world, so sadly they are entitled to their opinions. That is where your CLASS shines forth. You are not on their level; you do not need to respond. Shake it off.  We are all navigating this mine field called life. I wish you the best of luck as you deal with the real HATERS in your life. Thank you for reading. If you did not enjoy this you are, say it with me a HATER.

Written by *Jazz* Follow on Twitter @MsJazzyfied


A graduate of Mech Engr from UNILORIN. Works and lives in Lagos.

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